well school is out and i haven't updated but on my myspace http://www.myspace.com/3336826  i got things on there that are recent.  im still the same. i just hang out with my girls.  im still the same.  still confused and hurt.  man this is takin a life time to get over. i just got done reading all my old entries.its crazy i cannot believe i still love him. well no im not.  i knew that i will love him forever. but its cool. i think my place to get away is xanga too many losers got myspace. i aint tryin to open up on that place u know. its crazy.  well yeah im bored. just on the phone with my cuzzos man i love them. where wud i  be without my friends.  hahaha shit dead huh. im a damn weirdo.  la la la la la bored as heck. la la la la man i got nothing to do but sit here and complain i think ima bounce tonight screw this hahahaha. well n e ways umm wut else is there i got hella classes to take to get away

life lately has been pretty good. it aint flawless but i am better.  alot of work and no time to sleep. o yeah happy khmer new years ppl.  im really busy. still havent found a song to try out for. damn i was gunna do this mya song- if u die i wouldn't cry, but yeah iono too much as u can tell by the titile and i wud need the music and shit so yeah its guitars and drums but i cannot get a drum set on stage so yeah and lila was gun be the guitarist and glenn the drummer. so yeah plans change now ima just do a duet with jaz so it wud stll be cool if we do get to sing u know.  oyeah went to mexico got second and i had fun and the whole choir got silver hahaha we didnt bomb. yeah  much shit man from that the next day but yeah i guess im still just kickin it. i got great frieds and clicks to make me smile u know so im alive. grades went boo boo but ima be on top once again wheneba that is hahaha. i wish man huy i know my life went down these past months, its hella of a hassle to get by these days. i just wish it was so much easier. but it isnt.  damn its like im better but i still feel the same i mean im still hurt and shit but im not crying that much u know.  iono wut to really say. i wish that man sumhow i wake up and its all disappeared. all the nasty feeling of dormant not even that the feeling of foolishness and pain and love i want that to be gone too.  but yeah i just wish that sumhow i will just arise like a sum and be all bright hahaha and turn darkness a thing in the past. wuteva fuck it its like this and i guess ppl say time helps for it is the cure. hahaha well im infected (hahahaha reminds me of my new click JERMS hahahaha yeah back off dunt hate) and these pills are taking away dside affects as time passes but it hasnt cured me. im just mellow. hahaha well ima show u the lyrics then maybe u wud know why i want to sing it and u wud see the irony and within it. 

Verse 1:
Mmmmmmmmmmm
Oh it hurts so bad.
It started out so perfect, something God could only create.
I yearned enough for thinking you on this special day. ???
Never once did I take for granted that you’ve been hurt before.
So you treated me like a lady and even more.
So I can’t understand why you brought storms into my life.
Tell me why, you destroyed every part of me.
Now what once a beautiful lady that you showered with your love must live with
a heart that bleeds. 

This way again.  That was the end.  So please don’t take offense when I say
what I have to say.
Cause if you died  I wouldn’t cry cause you never loved me any way.


Promises made and secrets told
laying nights bent in ecstasy, we made love in a bed of roses for the universe
to see.  There was no holding back from each other, both of our minds were
free.  We never wasted time apart, boy it seems like entirety.

So I can’t understand why you brought this pain into my life.. Oh tell me why.
I gave you a reason to live and you used my love in vain .. so go on by
yourself to survive this alone.. You know you can’t come back home.

I hope you never come this way again.  You did, you did.  So please don’t take
offense when I say what I have to say.
If you died  I wouldn’t cry cause you never .. no way.
no way no way
How could this be 
After all the love you said we shared you turned around and leave.
Boy you know you were my heart and soul but I can’t be bad ??   I gotta let
you go.
Together forever that’s what we both said.  I didn’t know that life could be
so unfair.

Baby you did this to me.
You were my lover
So please don’t take offense when I say what I have to say.
I hope you die, I hope you die
Cause you never loved me anyway.

I.... you never never never never never never never never
You use to be my best friend.  You can get struck by lighting, washed away by
the sea, burned in a fire just don’t bring it back to me.  Cause
Cause you never loved me anyway.

I Never Knew
It was a cold day in December
I remember it so well
You captured my whole being
And you left me in a spell

You warmed my heart with passion
Desiring all of you
You left me cold in the summer
I wish that I only knew but-

Chorus:
I never knew that you would be the one
To come along and snatch my heart and run
Away from me with no explanation why
I never knew what we had would die
All I wanna do is hide away
From all the hurt and pain of yesterday
Don't you see the tears, the hurt inside?
I never knew, please tell me why

All the nights you left me crying
Keeping company with my fears
That some day you'd leave me lonely
And that's exactly what you did
I swore that I was your baby
The darkest night for you I'd bear
Now that I need you here with me
I call your name and you're not there

You left me standing
So empty-handed
Out in the cold
How was I to know
That my love didn't matter
And my world was shattered
'Cause you left me here
Drowning in tears, oh why?

(Chorus)

After we made plans to spend our lives together
I thought what we had was meant to be forever
Oh why did our love have to go away?
I don't know how, I don't know when
But I know, I'll never love this way again

(Chorus x 2)

I never knew, I never knew
I never knew it could be like this

(Repeat until fade)

tired of putting all this love shit on here man o man it aint like its gun hlp me out at all. i hate it so much well n e ways im hecka bored its wuteva man i cannot take being at home all boredn  more i wish i can just end this whole situation but iono how too its cool ill bounce buh bye